The Grasshopper and the Ant
Jan. 29th, 2012 05:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maxomai(This is a slightly modified repost.)
Once there was an ant and a grasshopper. After the first thaw, the ant started hard at work building a home. His friend the grasshopper came by.
"Say ant, what are you doing on this fine spring morning?"
"Why grasshopper, I'm building a home and storing food. Come winter, I will be able to survive the dire cold."
The grasshopper, seeing the ant's example, decided to do the same. But no sooner did he set out to accomplish this task when he found that all the wood to build a home was gone, and all the food was taken.
"Say ant," asked the grasshopper, "how did you go about collecting the materials and food?"
"Oh, well I had to get it all from the valley. It's about a good two-hour drive from here."
The grasshopper blinked his eyes and said, "Ant, I have no car to take me to the valley."
"Can't you take the bus?"
"The bus doesn't go to the valley."
"Maybe you should buy a car."
"I have no money for a car."
"Well, I guess you're fucked," said the ant, and continued to build his home.
Then the grasshopper struck upon an idea. "Say ant, how about we strike a deal? I'll help you build your home and sort your food, if you pay me enough money to buy a car."
The ant pondered this. "I would, but I know that all grasshoppers are lazy, and besides, you'd just steal my food and invite your grasshopper friends over to trash the place."
"No I wouldn't. Honestly."
"Okay, but I have my eye on you."
So the grasshopper and the ant worked through the spring, and soon the grasshopper had enough money to buy an old '78 Buick. Overjoyed, the grasshopper set out to drive to the valley every Sunday to collect building materials and food. He knew that he would have to work hard to collect even half as much food and building materials as the ant, for summer was here and winter rapidly approaching, but he knew that with this plan he would be warm and well-fed.
And so he pursued this plan. The way to the valley was fraught with danger. Sometimes his old beater broke down and had to be fixed. Sometimes he got pulled over by the cops, who figured that a grasshopper in these parts was nothing but trouble. Insurance premiums ate into his earnings. But he persisted, and eventually built a small, modest home, and got just enough food to survive until winter.
The next spring, the tax collector came along, assessed the grasshopper's property, and presented him with a tax bill that was worth more than the grasshopper had earned all last year working for the ant. Shocked, he went to his friend the ant's place to commiserate, only to find the tax collector unloading a dump truck of food onto the ant's lawn.
"What the fuck is this?" said the grasshopper, stunned. "How come when the tax man comes along, I get a whopping tax bill and you get food?"
"That's called Tax Fairness," said the ant. "This food is my refund on my income tax. In theory, I pay about thirty percent, but most of my income comes from investments, and I pay 15% on that. After mortgage interest and other deductions, I end up paying about 14%."
"Wait a minute! I worked hard! I built your house and got my beater and built my own house and got my own food! I just got a tax bill for 25% of what I earned last year! How is that fair?"
"It's perfectly fair. It rewards hard-working, wealthy ants like me, and punishes poor, lazy grasshoppers like you."
Once there was an ant and a grasshopper. After the first thaw, the ant started hard at work building a home. His friend the grasshopper came by.
"Say ant, what are you doing on this fine spring morning?"
"Why grasshopper, I'm building a home and storing food. Come winter, I will be able to survive the dire cold."
The grasshopper, seeing the ant's example, decided to do the same. But no sooner did he set out to accomplish this task when he found that all the wood to build a home was gone, and all the food was taken.
"Say ant," asked the grasshopper, "how did you go about collecting the materials and food?"
"Oh, well I had to get it all from the valley. It's about a good two-hour drive from here."
The grasshopper blinked his eyes and said, "Ant, I have no car to take me to the valley."
"Can't you take the bus?"
"The bus doesn't go to the valley."
"Maybe you should buy a car."
"I have no money for a car."
"Well, I guess you're fucked," said the ant, and continued to build his home.
Then the grasshopper struck upon an idea. "Say ant, how about we strike a deal? I'll help you build your home and sort your food, if you pay me enough money to buy a car."
The ant pondered this. "I would, but I know that all grasshoppers are lazy, and besides, you'd just steal my food and invite your grasshopper friends over to trash the place."
"No I wouldn't. Honestly."
"Okay, but I have my eye on you."
So the grasshopper and the ant worked through the spring, and soon the grasshopper had enough money to buy an old '78 Buick. Overjoyed, the grasshopper set out to drive to the valley every Sunday to collect building materials and food. He knew that he would have to work hard to collect even half as much food and building materials as the ant, for summer was here and winter rapidly approaching, but he knew that with this plan he would be warm and well-fed.
And so he pursued this plan. The way to the valley was fraught with danger. Sometimes his old beater broke down and had to be fixed. Sometimes he got pulled over by the cops, who figured that a grasshopper in these parts was nothing but trouble. Insurance premiums ate into his earnings. But he persisted, and eventually built a small, modest home, and got just enough food to survive until winter.
The next spring, the tax collector came along, assessed the grasshopper's property, and presented him with a tax bill that was worth more than the grasshopper had earned all last year working for the ant. Shocked, he went to his friend the ant's place to commiserate, only to find the tax collector unloading a dump truck of food onto the ant's lawn.
"What the fuck is this?" said the grasshopper, stunned. "How come when the tax man comes along, I get a whopping tax bill and you get food?"
"That's called Tax Fairness," said the ant. "This food is my refund on my income tax. In theory, I pay about thirty percent, but most of my income comes from investments, and I pay 15% on that. After mortgage interest and other deductions, I end up paying about 14%."
"Wait a minute! I worked hard! I built your house and got my beater and built my own house and got my own food! I just got a tax bill for 25% of what I earned last year! How is that fair?"
"It's perfectly fair. It rewards hard-working, wealthy ants like me, and punishes poor, lazy grasshoppers like you."
